My Sunday
While mopping the floor at home… I did some reflection of my days; and my thoughts just flowed through my mind…
I am writing them down.
Yesterday, instead of going JB straight, I changed my mind, to join my old uni friends for a picnic at East Coast. They used to be my kaki, somebody you could talk whatever you want. It was nice, the feeling of meeting them. Although we’d change since then, but yet the rusting friendship and the old-frens talk, are always too comfortable. They had walked into my life and we shared the most beautiful time in the hostel life.
So, what about my beautiful Sunday?
It is not very beautiful, but at least, I am happy with it. In fact, I didn’t do anything…
Morning, a form 6 male friend fetched me out for breakfast. My curious mum keeps asking me about him. Perhaps she is sourcing for me. He is just another old friend, going into his entrepreneurship and looking for support. We talked about it and I think, it is really interesting to find a friend with such courage. But his eyes are filled with his business. He is not, thinking and feeling the same needs as me, for now.
I came back home and read newspaper. Obama visits Accra, the capital of Ghana. Oh, my Ghana friends, Charles, Godfred, Kofi & Walter must be very happy. Perhaps they were there welcoming Obama. Next page – the riot-hit in XinJiang, China. It was featured a Han Chinese, family of 4 members, all were killed (separated in pieces) and burned. The next story, about how Uighurs helped a couple of Han Chinese to escape from the riot. I recalled what my friend had mentioned to me, the Indonesian Chinese tragedy 10 years ago. I am really fortunate to be a Malaysian Chinese, having no worry about the essential needs, and a safe and peaceful environment.
Later I went online and found an interesting website that you could edit your photos easily. I was obsessed about it, can’t help to try out some works. Just see below, the lomo-style: 
Later in the afternoon, mum and I went out for a jogging (she walked, of course). Wind flow through my face. Nice!
This is the 4th Sunday since my return from Holland. Yes, it’s already 4 weeks, the same duration as I stayed there. Throughout these 4 weekends, I returned my home, with no plan to go out, just some random tea session, shopping, jogging and visiting. The rest of the time, I read newspaper, watch tv/dvd/news, posting my photos, emailing my missing friends, msn, facebook, and also, little bit of blogging. In fact, my usual kaki are no longer here, in JB with me. I used to look up a lady friend for chatting or ktv, but nowadays she is always busy or engaged; yuchang, the mindless man left for Japan; Tracy, the loudest and garang lady, is in London exploring her life… what’s more about my secondary school gang, those already married with their babies… emm… where to go?
I really felt lonesome, be it in JB or in Singapore. I am just like a half-half M'sian. Enjoying the benefits of both sides… but losing out something, which I do not know how to describe.
Perhaps the only reason to come back is to visit my mum, whose husband had passed away since I was 14. I felt guilty for not going back JB. She is always there, welcoming my return, and talk to me here and there whenever I am at home. Last night, while we were watching TV, as she sees me toooo relax and do nothing at home (always with computer), she suddenly said that – "leng, you don’t have to come back every weekend, and you should go out for some activities, you know, in Chinese way, you are already 28 and not young anymore…" I was surprised, for the green light that she had given. I think she is worried about me and my future. What she had told me is what I am going to tell her.
I plan to let her know that in future I am going to take up my French class, and may not come back every weekend. She is fine nowadays, accompanied by my nephew on weekdays and some Saturday. I am pretty sure on things that I dislike, but I do not know what I like. Emm… why? Shouldn’t we leading our own life, but not lead by the surroundings?
Emm, perhaps it is the influence of Dutch and my friends from India, Ghana, and the scary Nepal friend. After floating for 4 weeks since my return, it seems to be the right time to step out. I have no clue on my direction yet, whether to settle down? or to continue my searching? But it should be the way I wish and happy with. I am enjoying refreshing friendships and loves, new adventure!
Ok, second half of 2009, My Sunday. The end of my journey in Holland, the new beginning.
